*update as of Feb.: One word summarizes my reaction to my entry; wow. What a bitter little thing I was. Although I do hold few of the same sentiments written in this entry, my perspective towards the "sport" of dating has evolved just a bit. Mind you I am not experienced with meeting people and consequentially, when less desirable events occur between me and the other party, I become discouraged. However, it took a while for my spirit to break before I came to realize that I can't shelter my curiosity and natural inclination to meet new people and of course, date. Yeah it sucks when things don't work out, but you know what? Shit happens and that is all a part of living life. You learn and grow (god this sounds so fucking cheesy but I am just typing what I think right now) and in that process, you pick up habits, perspectives, and of course, meet some horrible and amazing people. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is fuck it; just go with the flow. What exactly is there to lose? I hope I made sense as I am really tired right now and want to stop typing. Time for bedtime!
now, dating is truly a trivial pursuit. i fucking hate it. i want to avoid it at all costs, only to protect myself from opportunistic asses. you're probably thinking, "wow, we have a future cat lady in the making." and you're slightly correct. however, as much of an affinity i have for those furry satan's spawns (really, they're disgustingly adorable...how can anything be that cute?), i have absolutely no covert inclination to strive towards that lifestyle. okay, i lied, i have a clandestine love for the lifestyle, and i hope to make a career of out being a cat lady........but that will have to wait for another blog.
"well, what's the harm with dating? dating doesn't constitute entering a committal relationship." well, with dating, there is a huge risk factor involved. often times, both parties meet under the premise of barely knowing a smidgen of a fact about each other. basically, you're coming together with idealistic views, and the risk being that those views might not be shared by the other person. for instance, say i am looking to date, only to meet the potential, "mr. right", however, my supposed, "mr. right" might be dating for the pure pursuit of his lascivious goals, now, imagine the cataclysmic event that would result from this divergence. you see, dating sucks.
however, i do have a remedy for my aversion to dating. just take it slow, and build that friendship and foundation of trust before deciding to pursue romantic options. this will allow me to meet people on a stable ground, with no bullish boundaries symptomatic of dating (oh yes, i liken dating to a disease). also, this will help in the filtration process of eliminating assholes and, of course, finding that, "somebody" *(listen to it, martin gore is amazing).
currently, i see no worth in compromising my feelings and self in hopes of meeting "mr. right". being the hardened crab, (which would constitute as being highly private, not crabby) i value my innermost thoughts and feelings. my close friends and family are the only ones that will ever know my core. rarely, will i ever divulge matters so sacred to "outsiders". if it does happen, it will take a ridiculous amount of time and experience to build that mutual understanding of trust and reciprocity (no double standard bullshit, huge peeve of mine).
*oh yes, i'm fucking cheesy, so cheesy that i may be compared to that illegal cheese produced in Europe........outlawed for its effusively stinky (actually, its banned because its created from unpasteurized milk, but details will have to wait for another dumb blog about dairy products) manner.
